Pornchai Moontri: The Duty of a Knight - To Dream the Impossible Dream
. . . Editor's Note: The following is a guest post written by Pornchai Moontri. . . . I was a teenager when I went to prison. Over the years, I was sent back to solitary confinement over and over, for up to three-and-a-half years at a time, because I was so hostile. The longer I was there each time, the more inhuman I felt and became. Living for years on end in solitary confinement joined with the guilt I felt for the life I took during a struggle when I was 18 years old. So I just gave up on myself as a human being. I sank to the very bottom of the prison I was in, and stayed there. Then in the spring of 2005, after almost 14 years in and out of solitary confinement, I was told that I was to be shipped to another prison in another state. I sat for 10 months alone in my cell wondering about whatever hell was coming next, and I told myself I didn't care what comes next. Then one day, guards in riot gear came and chained me up. . . .
Empty Chairs at Empty Tables
. . . And I was. In the dream, my anxiety turned to desperation as I walked into the retreat center hoping beyond hope to see Father Moe sitting there waiting for me. Instead, what I found was a room full of empty chairs at empty tables in a place where there had been no signs of life for many years. Dust and cobwebs covered everything, and death was all around me. I came face to face with the stark reality that the life I knew before prison is gone. There was no place for me anywhere. I didn't understand what Father Moe had done. I may never understand it. . . .